I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
