But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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