I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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