Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
