I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
