He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
