why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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