I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize