I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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