sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
