apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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