Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
