like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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