Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
