how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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