dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
