What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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