I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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