i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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