batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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