I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm at about main and main street
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
