Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
