So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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