So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
