Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
