Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
