last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
