i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize