Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize