I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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