I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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