What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We got so high we made milksteak
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
