in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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