he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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