I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
