Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
