If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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