He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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