I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
