stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
