i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
