She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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