New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
