Everything about him screamed your future.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize
