I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just sent this text using only my big toe
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
