guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
