i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize