even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
