U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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