I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
