I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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