What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
