The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize