we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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