Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
