Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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