She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
