are you still at the devil's house?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
