if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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