There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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