i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
