Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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